Being a lover of change is not an easy thing. It’s just as hard as being opposed to it. I am a person who would pick change over routine and to pick being hectically busy and stressed over having nothing going on at all. Which means that my stress levels are almost always dangerously high and I am, most of the time, an annoyance to my boyfriend and family. Because even though I love change and will create change wherever I can, I unfortunately can’t make a decision by myself. I probably should as I am now a fully fledged adult – apparently. But no, I’m not ready to make hard life decisions and to take the blame when they inevitably go wrong.
Why do I love change so much? The answer is – I have no idea. Compared to living a nice, routine life; it costs more, causes more hassle, means my mind is constantly whirring and as I’ve listed before – pisses a lot of people off. I don’t know what it is about suddenly wanting to do something completely drastic that gives me such an adrenaline rush. Some people like jumping off of cliffs, some people like getting tattoos – I on the other hand love to change everything, all the time. At least mine isn’t near death experiences, let’s be thankful for that. But I do wonder, will it ever stop?
I think it’s partly to do with my generation (here I go again blaming anything or anyone but myself) that I feel like anything is possible. The generation of millennials that believe they can achieve whatever we want. Hell, we can ‘do’ whatever we want too; whether that be travel until we’ve seen every inch of the globe, become a surfer in Hawaii or to get paid for putting pictures on social media. Anything is possible for us and it’s becoming increasingly popular to have an unconventional job and life. It’s becoming the norm. Either you see us as a generation that’s decided to say ‘goodbye’ to the conventional lifestyle and need reigning in or we are producing our own futures – whatever they may be. We’ve decided that yep, we love our parents and their generation but that doesn’t have to be our life too. If we want to post ourselves working out on Facebook so we get sent some merchandise to endorse – we’re doing it. If we want a self-employed career doing what we love, not just what will give us a career, we’re doing it. We’re living a full, fun and hectic life and taking all sorts of risks.
I have this conversation a lot about risk taking. Where does the bravery come from? I was sat on a train from London to home a few weeks ago, sipping a lukewarm gin and tonic tin and I came across some half draft of a piece I wrote a while ago when I was also on a train. Seems I love to type away on a train. But that train ride was when I was travelling back to London to start my third week of being an official (will I ever really be official?) Londoner. It was only a few paragraphs long, but the basic point I was making was how did I end up here? How did I go from living in Sheffield as I’ve always done, to commuting back to London like it’s always been so normal?
I try and package my random (sometimes bordering on insane) plans into great ideas that would be so simple to achieve. My friend said to me she would love to open up a brunch spot in London, my response was ‘you can do it! Right log onto Rightmove and start looking for the perfect spot and get on crowdfunding!’ When I was wanting to get out of Sheffield, I had got it into my head I should move to Australia. I had no idea what I would do there or even why I chose Australia over anywhere else. Before I had even considered the logistics or the reason behind it (there was no reason, there never is) I had scoped out how much an apartment would be, the best places to live and the cheapest time to buy a plane ticket. Who do I think I am? Some maverick risk taker that does whatever she wants and everything has worked out? To be fair, everything pretty much has so far; with a few large bumps in the road. That’s only because I have lovely people around me to say, ‘Meg stop it and shut up. You are being ridiculous’ when I am out of control.
This trait of mine means that I often look back on things (things like moving to another country for 3 months knowing no-one) and think, ‘why and how did I do that? What was I thinking?’ Thankfully, it’s always looking back on something amazing that I’m glad I did, but even if I didn’t I think I would be glad of the risk taking. Because why not? Why shouldn’t we take chances when we’re young (or old – you do you) and put all our love and effort into something we believe in, even if it turns out to be crap? Failing at something you believed in sounds a lot better to me than not trying, staying where your comfort zone is and regretting the whole thing. I am grateful I am part of a generation that continues to take risks and believes anything is achievable, but if our crazy plans and life choices don’t work out then, cool. I suppose learning to deal with failing at something is just as hard as taking the leap in the first place. Change is a great thing; it gives you a chance to change what you don’t like, improve on what you have and widen your comfort zone. I will always be a fan.